Gratitude

I've died, and come back, from intentional drug overdose. 
Multiple times. 

I've attempted suicide by alcohol poisoning.
Very nearly succeeded. 

I've performed nude, in disenpowered circumstances, to cover rent.
Or to pay-off debt collectors. 

I've been ALL THE WAY DOWN to rock-bottom. 
Of chronic illness. 
Of chronic wounding.
Of debilitating dis-ease.
Of depression. 
Of addiction.
Of fear.
Of rage.
Of guilt. 
Of shame.
Only to realize that what had been felt as a bottom, was nothing save for a momentary plateau.
That I could still tumble even FURTHER into the abyss.

I've EXHAUSTIVELY played out the cyclical roles of VICTIM, PERPETRATOR, and SAVIOR.
I know all the scripts by rote.
Could pantomime them flawlessly, from cover to cover.

I've also been to unbridled heights which reflect the profundity of those depths.
Near INCREDIBLE activation.
Truly INEFFABLE beauty.
Wordless, nameless wonder.
Bliss BEYOND measure.

So.
Here's the thing.

I am grateful for ALL OF IT.
EVERY moment. 
EVERY Sacred Heartbeat. 
EACH AND EVERY blessed breath.

Not just in a “I am grateful for pain, for the inherent lessons contained therein” sort of way.

No, Beloved.

It goes MUCH deeper.

I'm not simply grateful FOR the experiences which I've moved to and through in this life.
For lessons.
For blessings. 
For understanding. 
For innerstandings.

I am grateful TO the ENDLESSLY rich, at times painful, ALWAYS fruitful, FULL SPECTRUM experience of this life, IN AND OF ITSELF.

I STAND in the IMMENSE power which is offered by embracing each and every moment of this Soul's embodied experience.

Yes, in THIS now moment, I CHOOSE to walk paths which are WIDELY DIVERGENT from those once chosen.
Yes, those past paths are LONG passed.
With that being said...
I EMBRACE what came before.
I regret NONE of it.
Reject NONE of it.
OWN ALL OF IT.

When we aim to “move on” from, or “get over” the moments in our lives which are viewed as painful, shameful, or otherwise undesirable, we rob ourselves of the truest aspects of our innate, potent, INEXTRICABLE interconnection with the holographic Cosmic Continuum. 

We are often quick to habitually create labelled narratives of “good/bad" “right/wrong".
The ONLY difference between that which we know as pleasure, and that which we know as pain, lies in our reaction to the experience of sensation.

It's all sensory input.
No more, no less.
All indispensable waves in the flow.

Even so, at times we may choose to label an aspect of our sensory experience within a spiraled timeline as something which doesn't belong. Something to get over. To reject, and deem unworthy of acceptance into the fold of gratitude. 
Into the fold of LOVE.

In so doing, we inhibit energy flow to and through a part of our toroidal field.

Energy which is inhibited from flowing, is amplified. 
Basic physics. 

Thus, when we reject a part of the self, the experience, the timeline, we effectively MULTIPLY that which we reject, and ENSURE its fractal repetition.
Iterations in a feedback loop.
This is the energetic, SCIENTIFIC reality of karma.

Moreover, when we refuse to wholly HONOR a particular note in the melodic, symphonic SONG of our unique resonance, we block the fullest manifestation of the specific frequency WHICH WE EMBODIED TO BRING FORTH.

Your journey IS your medicine, Beloved. 
Your scars ARE your perfection.

From the lowest fucking lows to the highest blessed highs.
It ALL serves. 
It's ALL powerful. 
It's ALL magical. 

YOU are magical, sweet Kin.
Seriously serious, though. 
For really real. 

You are COUNTLESS miracles, made manifest.
You are majesty in motion. 
You are living, breathing, being LIGHT. 

So.
STAND in your power, luminous One. 
Stand in the totality of the magic which makes you, YOU.

Stand UP.
Stand TALL. 

You are not built for crouching. 

I Love You. 
❤
© EJB 2017